Gabriel on PWP

Before I begin, let me just state that I’m not racist…most of my friends are White. Sound familiar? Anyway.

I was watching an episode of that fox show with the two married couples (I can’t remember the name). The episode dealt with how different people (i.e. a Black person and White people view racism). Of course since it came out of Hollywood the episode ended up with the Black guy looking like a douchebag and further brought levity to the urgency that is true equality. But…this post doesn’t even concern that crap. The episode got me thinking of a comment that one of my friends made a while back. Hollywood (and the media) is liberal as crap, however Hollywood often does things and produces people that are offensive (to say the least) or just plain ignorant. I know I’m not one to be talking about being offensive (a few blogs ago I equated White guys who like Asian women to pedophiles…which isn’t true 85% of the time), but I wanted to bring up how Hollywood did things. Immediately (years ago) I noticed that Hollywood was run by PWPs…or progressive white people/peoples (I interchange PWP and PWPs, so sue me…it’s my blog and I’m grown).

One might notice in my blog how I bash PWP all the time. Basically it is for good measure. They should be trusted less than the KKK.

FIGURE ONE: Made by progressive White people

I laughed at this picture when I first saw it because that is how I gauge a lot of satirical things…quickly and with laughter. And while this picture is satire it represents how PWP use White privilege while trying to preach to others about how wrong certain things are. This is in essence when I first notice about PWP (also known as dirty neo-hippies).

Example 1: I will use the movie Forest Gump (quite possibly the second or third greatest movie known to man) as a reference. In the Black Panther meeting/gathering/ice cream social Jenny (the crack slore) has the boyfriend who is there. The bf is White and preaching about how the war in Vietnam is wrong. Being ‘progressive’ he walks around bashing the current administration and doing what all rich white kids with no aim in life do (no…not get degrees in environmental studies), he complains about everything under the sun. Apparently all of his holiness and thou shall not attitudes about things didn’t stop him from physically (mentally as well) abusing his girlfriend Jenny. Thus we have some White guy who thinks he is better than all the other white people in the land, but still beats on his girlfriend. What a douche!!!

Example 2: This is made up, but has a very strong basis in reality. Random angry Black man is forced to go on 200 dollar spring break trip (while gf spends 50 bucks to go on it…I know, douche move right, anyway). He goes there and discovers that the trip is full of hippies (cool people, but hippies none the less). He also discovers that he is one of 5 people on the trip that indulge in omnivore activities. One night he and his newly made hippie friends are talking about something. Some random vegan jumps into the conversation and starts talking about the evils of the meat industry even though random angry Black man is familiar with the work of Upton Sinclair and has been since early middle school. Other non meat eaters (hippies that spit in the face of our creator with their non meat consumption) join the fray and they start talking about how animals are mistreated and cows eat stuff they shouldn’t and how milk is wrong and all that other stuff that negates the fact that America has been doing it for hundreds of years (and look at the gold medal count from the Olympics…that’s all I’m saying).

FIGURE TWO: I wish I was wearing this shirt at the time…

These hippies bash how all forms of non human dairy are wrong (and how we should make cheese out of breast milk) and that we should eat vegan cheese and oils and spreads. This is all well and good in theory, but these PWP neglect to mention the fact that lots of ‘vegan’ substitutes for oils and spreads (that don’t have trans fat because trans fat makes vegans/vegetarians cry) use excessive amounts of palm oil which destroys rainforests and jungles in Africa. As long as cow milk products aren’t being fed to their children an entire continent can suffer (even more than it has since White people first discovered boats).

Example 3: Judge for yourself how real this is or not. White people up in arms about having a truly diverse presidential race this year, finally no more oppressive dictator G.W. Bush (who I grow to like more and more each day…not really) and no more republican party. That is…until their poster child Hillary Clinton fails to secure the nomination for the Democratic Party and she is second behind none other than ‘Muslim O’Coon ‘(Barack Obama for non douchebags). Suddenly all of these democrat for life voters who hate republicans for ruining the country (blah blah blah all the arguments I hear when I claim republicans) are voting for John McCain. Their reasons being that BHO wasn’t really born here, and he’s a Muslim, and he’s elitist and all that other junk. Suck my balls you racist PWP (it is the worst here in KY). This just goes to show you that when it comes down to a Black man, a 70 year old white man is as diverse as this country is willing to get (stolen and modified from a comedy central show PWP happen to love.)

FIGURE THREE: If America was as diverse as John McCain we would not have a pornography problem.

My problem with PWP is that they are major hypocrites. They take up righteous causes in the name of humanist beliefs (or whatever BS they’re claiming), but when it comes down to it they are similar to the Klan. They use their White privilege when they can to combat ideas that differ from their own.

Before I end this post let me say that I have no problem with real progressive people. They might not eat a ‘colorful’ diet rich in antioxidants, but when it comes down to it, they’re cool people. My skin color has never been an issue with any of my best friends that I view as progressive (the White ones). In fact, a lot of these friends have conservative views. They aren’t afraid to call out something that they see is wrong with the way that the world works, but they don’t get on a soapbox and blame King Bush the second for everything. These are the people that would lie to the cops for me, let me sleep on their couches when I had no place to live for two weeks freshman year of college, or let me borrow massive amounts of money. Other PWP I don’t have problems with are those who are mellow in their beliefs and don’t try to make me ‘Go Veg’ when I don’t even know you like that for real. Oh well.

Gabriel on Sorority Recruitment

 

An 84 degree day and one is riding along looking at the beautiful sites of downtown Lexington. The bums are in full blossom, the confederate flag trucks with the nuts hanging off of the bumper are in full effect, the kids running around in the sprinkler system that the street people use to wash themselves. Ahhh, glamorous sights indeed. One would imagine that no one could top those sights. That is until you see legions of newly legal White girls walking around in tight navy blue polos that accent their breasts, khaki short shorts that hug their hips and thighs in such a way that it looks like 75% of them have nice butts (when at tops only 35% of them have legitimately nice butts), and those boat shoes that were bought for the family trips to Hawaii. The first thing one thinks as a heterosexual male (or a lesbian into fems) is “Hmmm I’d hit it,” that is until one is blindsided with rage over the stupidity of these broads who walk in the middle of the street and hold up traffic for blocks at a time not because of their stunning looks (by the time you’ve spent this much time in Lexington blonde hair and tans aren’t all that uncommon and sexy anymore, yes one would sexerize them, but it’d be more of a ’she has a vagina’ than it would be ’she’s cold!’), but by their lack of common sense and ignorance of the rules for pedestrians.

FIGURE ONE: These two groups have about the same knowledge of the rules for pedestrians…

It’s summertime, and in Lexington (as well as other schools in the south) I predict snowstorms for the next month. The massive amount of snowbunnies (white girls) invading college campuses across the nation is for one reason and one reason only (besides the ones that actually come to college to learn something and better themselves) to find a rich husband. The best way to find a future husband is to find a guy who just so happens to be rich already and then to date them to get them hooked (yeah, that’s right females…men know your secrets. Guess what, we have them too…if you get pregnant once you graduate med/law school…it wasn’t an accident, I’m just saying.) The richest men on campus (aside from the old professors, which doesn’t stop some women) are those fraternity boys. So…if you’re an upper-class White female who needs to find another man to take care of her (because Daddy is spending all his cash on his mistresses/new wife’s boob job) what better way than to mix with a fraternity boy by joining a sorority.

There are various other reasons why female join White sororities than just to find rich husbands. But all of these reasons stem from the rich husband mentality.

Excuses females like to use:

1. My mother was in one and so was my grandmother and I have to continue the tradition: Translation – “My mom is tired of me living off of my father. She wants him to herself. I’m going to get kicked out pretty soon and I spent my trust fund on cosmetic surgery for my 16^th birthday. I’m not very smart. She didn’t teach me anything really useful like how to be domestic and win people over with my personality. I did learn a little Spanish from our pool boy and maids. I think I’ll major in Spanish until I find a nice guy and mooch off of whatever he does for a living. Guys like sorority girls. I’ll do that.”
   
2. It’s a great way to meet people and network and forge connections: Translation – “I have a hive minded mentality. I need to be around other people that shop at Holister and go to the tanning bed twice a day. It’ll be fun. We’ll be like sisters! (not knowing that soror comes from Latin meaning sister) We used to hang out freshman year, why are all my sisters dating these rich guys in ki bagga douche? Guess I better do it too or my sisters will hate me”
   
3. I just want to party: Translation – “I’m a slut. I’ll get knocked up at a mixer by some guy that is getting his MBA next year completely on accident and enjoy the ride!”
   

FIGURE TWO: Future State Senators

I’m wholeheartedly convinced that the entire White Greek sorority system was founded upon the principle of finding rich husbands and living a glamorous lifestyle without having to be good at anything (this includes sex). They just have to dress the part, act like they become an entirely different person when they are drunk and drop the panties. Rich douchebag guys in fraternities don’t know any better because guys already only think with our penises, and they’re drunk as crap anyway. So off they go into the wonderful land of sorostitutes (Thanks Cappy) and get bonded to those broads for life.

Gabriel on Residual Checks

Every average college student (read people not involved in White Greek organizations who have massive fortunes that serve as outliers to the mean) has two times a year when they are extremely happy no matter what. These times of the year are roughly two weeks to a month after the beginning of every semester. For those of you who are unfortunate (not really, because it means that your parents are rich and you have massive amounts of money in your trust fund you douche…but I’m not hating, just stating the obvious) enough to have experienced the joy of residual checks here is what they are. Rich Step Uncle Sam (or Uncle Sam if one is White) awards you said amount of money from loans, scholarships, grants, etc. The money is wired directly into whatever college or university one attends and it goes to pay off whatever outstanding debts you owe the university (tuition, damage repairs from punching a whole in the door of your on campus apartment freshman year because some fat drunk idiot vomited all over your clean towels, etc) so that your balance is all paid off for the semester. Any extra money not used to pay back the magic machine of debt known as college is then tidily sent to you in the form of a check. This check wields awesome power. It controls the key to your social life and time shares ones soul from G-D (or whatever deity one chooses to believe in.)

FIGURE ONE: Residual Checks…making America better one deposit at a time.

This phenomenon of G-D’s grace is not without its low points however. One might say there is a storm before the calm.

The months/weeks/whenever the money from the summer/winter job runs dry, feelings are at the lowest of the low. This is usually the time when I start to make plans about how I will spend my residual check for the upcoming semester. Rent, useless technology to make me feel rich, whatever my heart desires. However it still doesn’t change the fact that I have no real tangible money. Just an online web page that says “As of now, as long as you don’t screw crap up, you’ll get (x amount of dollars.)” This time of the year is almost always involved with someone (family or friends) giving or loaning me large sums of money so that I can pay off my first month of rent and utilities and other junk that I need, yet don’t have the financial capital to cover.

Which makes the aforementioned scenario even worse is when your school starts farting around and not sending the money on time. There are numerous reasons for this to happen so it is best that you do everything that you need to do on your end to make sure that the school’s douchebaggery doesn’t prohibit you from paying your rent, insurance or Xbox live account on time.

• Make sure the address where they send the residual checks is correct
  
• Make sure to not get a book voucher until after they cut your first residual check and send it in the mail. One can wait until the first check is safely in their bank account if they want to be extra safe. Books aren’t really needed in classes until a few weeks before the first exam anyway. Residual monies are always needed/wanted!
  
• Make sure that you accept all free money, and any money that you can possibly accept. If you’re like me you get the maximum to cover all your bases…the loans usually credit before any actual free money credits, so having a loan or two can bolster your chances of success!
  
• If you live in an APT or dorm, make sure that your name is inside of the mailbox. That way Mr. Mailwoman can’t say that they didn’t deliver the mail because there was no name. Give me a break. Stupid mail people…
  

FIGURE TWO: How I feel when I get my residual check…that’s right, like a rich old white man!

Residual checks themselves are also like the force (or duct tape) there is a light side and a dark side. The good residual checks are the ones that you get and they are entirely yours. These come from scholarships and grants and other free money that is basically given to you because

• You were amazing in high school
  
• You’re amazing in college
  
• Your school desperately needs you type of people to fulfill their racial quotas so they do anything to keep you around
  

and you don’t have to pay it back.

Then there are residual checks like the ones I receive. Laden with unsubsidized and subsidized loans so that I can pay rent and support my college lifestyle without having to work more than twenty hours a week during the semester so that I can focus on other things (like school, halo, food, large breasts, etc). These residual checks are so fat because unlike scholarships, schools want you to take these out at superhuman interest levels that Bruce Wayne would have a hard time coping with (1940s Bruce Wayne…back when having a thousand dollars was like being worth 7 figures). The interests accuses on these loan monies at astonishing rates, but idiots don’t care because they have four grand coming at them now and don’t have to worry about the repercussions until later (this is why it is vital not to take out massive amounts of student loans to pay for degrees that are essentially worthless by themselves i.e. liberal arts degrees, yay sociology!)

FIGURE THREE: This kind of paper can’t pay back student loans.

Well I’m off to make plans for my residual monies. G-D speed!