I don’t feel like typing today because they key strokes are making me angry at my own fatness this day in particular. I have no idea why…it could be the finger that I jammed moving or the fact that I haven’t had time or resources to work out in a week. Oh well. Who cares…
Diversity is something that has been as close to my heart as grease clogged veins from my random excursions to Popeyes and Indi’s (chicken places). I have dealt with this “power phrase” for as long as I have been in Lexington. Now, given my background I’m used to not being in very diverse surroundings (I took all AP classes, worked and hung out with an overwhelming amount of White people, etc) so I don’t care as much as the average militant Black man about being in “diverse” settings. As long as people don’t act like douches…it doesn’t matter what race they are. I do however have a problem with the idea of phony diversity that is flung at me like monkey poop from all directions.
I have worked at a children’s camp for the four summers prior to this one. I loved that camp. Nearly everyone that has ever worked at that camp with me has become my friend. This is mostly due to the fact that there were attractive females that worked at the camp (for the most part) who happened to be in the same age group as me (+18). I’d spend whatever time I wasn’t using (to yell at the kids and tell them that just because they listen to Yung Joc they weren’t ghetto or hood) to flirt with a few (most) of my female co-workers. After working this job for 4 summers I subconsciously equated working with children to working with moderately attractive to good looking females. So…when I got this new job for working with children a few days ago, I asked specifically “What is the makeup of your staff that you have working with the kids?” As soon as these words slipped out of my mouth I knew where I had taken the interview.
What my future boss heard: “Hello Ms. White lady. I’m Black, and have a beard and a fro. I could probably beat up the father of your children without breaking a sweat, so don’t piss me off with your response. Now, how many n*ggas you got working up in this joint?”
What my future boss thought: “Oh no…uhhh think. What did those old videos they make us watch every year tell us about diversity…uhhh should I compliment his rims? No…he’s on foot… I should say his a** is big, no that only works on their females…hmm, think Bethany think!!!” [If one is wondering, "Gabriel, stop exaggerating. There is no way she was frightened of your short, fat, behind." Well…aside from the fact that my ABMS had me scowling the entire interview except when she was laughing at something and I forced myself to smile so that I could seem appealing to all the little White children and Chinese child; I gave her a copy of my resume, which included mention of my minor in African American studies (that she pleasantly overlooked) and my activities with the NAACP. While reading my resume she pointed out everything (except for the AAS) and when she got to the NAACP her playful, joyous demeanor turned into a non smile (which for normal people would be a scowl).]
What my future boss responded with: “Blah, blah, blah…diversity, blah blah blah, even our staff blah blah blah, the children, blah blah blah, other countries, blah blah *mindless drivel*”
I was fed (well not fed per se, like those babies that don’t fall for the ‘here comes the airplane’ crap because they aren’t as dumb as their parents, my mouth was closed for business) this phony baloney (bologna…yes I can spell it the ‘correct way’) response. I asked about the staff that she hired. All she had to do was tell me that. Instead she tries to give me some crap about how there was so much diversity in the school by pointing out that:
- The teachers were diverse because some of them had red hair
- The students were diverse because “Look! There goes a Chinese kid!”
- The custodial staff is made up of Hispanics and Black people
While these are decent examples to try and prove the diversity of the school renowned for its rich, white wasps in Lexington the examples also had major flaws. She neglected the fact that, White people are still white (only White people I don’t count as ‘White’ are Jewish people…they’re different to me). One Chinese kid doesn’t negate the fact that I saw no Black students or Hispanic students. And the custodial staff at the school I attend (University of KKK) is made up exclusively of Black people sprinkled in with a few Mexicans and UKKK is about as White as Beck or the Dave Matthews Band.
But I guess I’ll take it on as my personal challenge to try and add real diversity to the place. You know…prove that not all Black men are gangbanging, dope dealers who ride around with Suburbans sitting on Urlachers (54 inch rims) like The Man would have people to believe. Provide strong male guidance…blah. Whatever.
NOTE: If my future boss is reading this. I need the job. I don’t think you’re a bad person. You’re really sweet and understanding and kind of a miwfiicdti (figure it out). These are just the ramblings of someone who doesn’t matter.
