Gabriel on Interracial Couples

Usually I get to work early due to the lack of reliable public transportation in Lexington. I was sitting here today at about 11:35 AM when some douchebag couple came to the door of my work. They asked if they could get in because they had to set up some student computing account thing that I could have easily helped them with. But…seeing as how the lab was officially closed I let them come in, but didn’t offer them much help. The fact that they disturbed my 20 minutes of pre-work anime/manga time pissed me off, and now I have to talk about everyone who is like them (or at least three types like them). Interracial couples.

There are various sociological and psychological reasons for the massive amount of consensual (I say consensual, because back in the day Black and Indian women were raped and taken as mistresses so technically these were interracial, but not consensual…if that makes any sense) interracial couples that people find within contemporary society. Before I begin my lashing towards IRCs, let it be known that some people (about 5.3%) involved in an IRC are cool. The others (94.7%) are horrid. Thus, if people get mad, just pretend like they’re in the minority.

BMWF: One of the oldest archetypes known to this country (and the reason why dark skinned dynamos like me have specks of red hair and freckles…stupid Irish snowbunnies). This is how I see it now. Due to a sedentary life style, high caloric diet, and massive amounts of genetically modified food product (we will discount cosmetic surgery for now) that unlock dormant African genes White women are actually getting thicker. Some are actually developing breasts and butts that in some rare cases rival the best Sistas that the US has to offer. However, also due to the aforementioned factors White women are also getting fatter. Most white men don’t want any part of someone that isn’t a boney stick with a c-cup so they disregard White women now more than ever. Enter the Black man. Most of who can’t cope with the strong will and power of Black women and aren’t willing to give up their male dominance to their female counterpart, so they go after the more docile natured White women (not really docile. Just different than Black women who are perceived as aggressive). This is all well and dandy until the Black men figure out how well they are valued on the market. Basically for the thick, and fine White women (see below), they go almost exclusively to educated, successful, good looking Black men (or athletes), or White men who aren’t stupid as a pile of steamy ish. This leaves all the other douchebags to the bottom of the barrel of White women. So you have Black men who are moderately successful, decently educated, and not ugly, with skanks and skeezers from horrendous neighborhoods that just so happen to think they are thick, beautiful and Black just because they’ve swabbed a few Negro meat sticks in their day. Or you have lames and losers that don’t have enough confidence in their game to go after Black women and stick to lurking around White neighborhoods, clubs and the internet to get hooked up with trashy white females who have multiple children and only date Black men (or Hispanics that are dark skinned). And there you have it, the Black male, white female relationship…for the most part. In KY, and I’m assuming surrounding states. Sad isn’t it?

FIGURE ONE: Bus Pass? No! Benz? Yes!

 

BFWM: This is most likely the second oldest archetype known to this country. Basically when Black women (successful and educated ones) are presented with the options for dating it is go big or go home. Unfortunately this leaves a lot of people (Black men) that don’t match certain criteria out in the cold. Once all the “good Black men” get taken there isn’t much left to choose from so the Black women stick to their guns and remain single for a while. Then Black men figure out that through the help of Ice-T, Nelly, and Bob Johnson, that they can get White women relatively easy so they go flocking to their catholic high schools and techno clubs to pick up White women. This leaves the Black women furious and tired of dealing with the antics of Black men. After all they are successful and educated and independent (and all that other BS that Beyonce fools chicks into believing when she is living off of Jay-Z and her daddy) why not go after people that are like them. And who are the most successful and educated (and rich) people on the planet? White men! To understand the BFWM relationship, one has to understand that White people love a challenge. That is why Rocky is so popular. (Ain’t no white man gonna beat Mr. T in his prime, I don’t care if he is Italian…yeah I said it!) And why people always want to climb to the top of some mountain to die from lack of food, water and oxygen. With all the BS in the air about how Black women are hard to deal with, White men who have graduated with JDs, PhDs, MDs and MBAs from schools like Harvard and Yale see dating and forming an everlasting bond with Black women as exciting and a challenge. What pisses me off personally (and part of the reason I stopped my whole snowbunnies epidemic) is the fact that in BFWM relationships you see them at Operas and Shakespeare driving BMWs and stuff. You see BMWFs on the bus going to the welfare office. In all my years I have only seen one case that disputed the fact that BFWM couples pWn BMWF couples.

BMAW: Very rare, you’ll almost never see it. If one does then someone in the relationship is mixed (bi-racial, tri-racial, confused). Asian women would bring dishonor upon their family for dating a Black man and Black men would get clowned at cookouts and BBQs for bringing a 12 year old with them. Simple as that.

BFAM: Like Santa and the Easter Bunny there are figments of some guy’s imagination (see Romeo Must Die). Things like this don’t happen outside of those high school textbooks from the 90s teaching us how racism is over thanks to Abe Lincoln and his band of merry White folk.

FIGURE TWO: One has a better chance of seeing this than a BFAM couple.

 

AMWF: Almost as rare as BFAM. However there are only like three known cases in all of history. Bruce Lee and Blonde chick. I forget the other two.

AFWM: The most common one to date besides BMWF. Ever since the Vietnam war Asian women were viewed as “exotic”, “docile” and “horny” and all that other offensive crap White people make up about other cultures they don’t understand. So like Black men, White men few their females as difficult to handle and go after the Asian woman leaving her women in the dust to be taken to the top of a skyscraper by Lebron James. Secretly I think that two things are coming into play…the White man’s burden and his knack for super young girls. The White man views it as his patriotic duty (since the US lost the Vietnam…conflict…war…whatever) to take all of the Asian women for himself to successfully kill off the Asian race (yes Asia is a continent, but they don’t know this, they think that China, Japan and Korea are all big cities in the giant country of Asia). Also with the stunt that Richard Gere pulled in India (I think) a few years back when he kissed a (smoking hot) Bollywood actress at a charity event (kissing on the lips is extremely offensive in Indian culture), it can be said that he is trying to progressively teach them the evil their “savage” and “oppressive” ways.

FIGURE THREE: Richard Gere may be a douche, but his taste in women is on point…

The knack for super young girls started in the very beginning of the US (or white society…who knows). The founding step fathers (I say step because I’m not White) loved little girls. They used to take wives at like 11 and 12 (and that was before genetically modified foods…they had no excuse). Eventually people started wising up and realizing that pedophilia was wrong, but they still wanted to do it. So they created the ideal body image of a woman to be short and rail thin that way she didn’t have to look like a fully developed women and their desires for pedophilia could be fulfilled. But eventually they found it was too much effort to keep their White women they way they wanted (due to their forefathers knack for raping slave women) so they discovered Asians and coveted them their small stature, fish diet, and youthful appearance so that they could neglect their women and still fulfill their desires once more…without having Chris Hansen show up at their door while they were naked and holding a 12 pack of natty. As for Asian women…it would be best if people went here, that man is a genius!

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