Gabriel on Statistics

Just because people can quote three numbers and try to relate that to life itself doesn’t mean that they are educated, or scholarly, or even good at math. In fact it is quite the opposite. Statistics used in everyday commonplace should be taken with a grain of salt. For those who are unlearned or uneducated about the truths of this world statistics are a way to further keep people in the dark about things that really matter. Statistics are used and quoted by people who know nothing about mathematical or scientific procedure.

People that you usually see quoting statistics about random things are…you guessed it! White people! Well, not all White people, but the dumb/ignorant ones. I have never seen a white person in ANY of my math classes quote statistics or skewed facts and figures like I have seen in my sociology and other social science classes. The reason is that in math and mathematical science classes ALL people know better than to foolishly blast numbers around because odds are that other people can logically prove the fallacies in their crap. However, in social science classes most people are there because they have a deep rooted fear (read inability to do math for various reasons) or distain for math. Thus they tend to take facts and figures and accept them as true without doing any research on the matter. For example.

Chaz: Yeah, like I was reading that like 51% of all Black men are in jail.
Bethany: Really?
Chaz: Yeah, I was on the internet and saw that Black men were 40% more likely to get arrested. About one in every ten White guys are locked up, so I did some math. Fangled up some statistics with that SOC 303 class I took.
Bethany: Wow, Chaz! You’re (in her mind she spells it ‘your’) so smart!
Chaz: Cheah…that’s how I roll.

FIGURE 42.1: Chaz…

In case you didn’t understand the example, I’ll enlighten. All of the stats in that example were made up by me on the spot. The fifty-one percent statistic was plain wrong. If 10% of all white men were in jail (which they aren’t) then 40% more than that would not be 51% (yes I added this incorrectly to show the ignorance of Chaz when it comes to simple algebraic methods such as addition), percentages don’t work that way. Secondly, the arrested rate doesn’t equate to the number of people that actually get incarcerated. So, one can see how Chaz and Bethany are incorrect douchebags who live off their parents.

But my purpose of this blog isn’t to blast everyone who is horrid at mathematics. It is because the AP did some research (most likely faulty) on the attitudes of Black people about White people and vice versa. Apparently most of the world was shocked to realize that even some (about a third) liberal voting democrats have a tendency to think of Black people as “lazy”, “violent” and responsible for their own troubles. Well…I wasn’t surprised. And quite frankly, I don’t care about their stupid “research”. Odds are the research was done by someone without a degree in any branch of hard science. Probably not even a social science major. It was most likely done by some guy with a 6 year bachelor’s degree in communications from the University of Idaho that smoked with Sarah Palin. I’m all for hating on the “palefaces” (as one of my roommates Cappy so eloquently phrases them), but at least have a moderate cause. Slavery, sure. Jim Crow, sure. Viacom, most definitely. Taking our women, in the past yeah, now…who cares. Skewed, incorrectly done research that most socially aware people knew anyway, nah.

 

FIGURE 42.2: What Black people (and folks in general) should be really pissed about.

 

My thinking is that if Black people are in a fuss about this research it does three things:

1. Shows that Black people (outside of those brothers and sisters dating snowbunnies and huskies) still care waaaaaaay too much about what White people think about them. If Black people had conducted the survey on themselves yielding the same results the researchers would have been called “Bill Cosby a** n*****” and Black folk would have gone on about their day.
   
2. It gives White people credibility to believe that everything done by faulty research has strength and validity. “That one survey they did was accepted, so it must be right…thus all other surveys done have to be correct too.”
   
3. It hurts the hundreds of years of racial harmony (or as close as we are to that) that is currently in place making it more difficult for people like my other roommate to get his moolatè making swirl on.
   

In conclusion, I will leave you all with a wise piece of advice that the wall of greatness bestowed upon my friends and I during our trip to China. “76 % of all statistics are made up on the spot.”

Gabriel on Hormones

Quite simply, I love female runners. They are amazing. An unattractive female that runs suddenly becomes a potential candidate for my future children simply because I love athletic females. Everything is great about female runners. If I could choose between watching the best superbowl of all time and watching a marathon of female (non-obese) runners I’d choose the female runners at least ninety-eight percent of the time. So, needless to say that every time I am out and about (which is quite often) it doesn’t matter who I am with. I will find a way to watch females run. It is one of the simple pleasures in the world that keeps me happy.

Friday I was waiting on the bus stop when a female runner ran by. She was amazing. She was about my height, dark caramel skin, and a thick athletic build. If I didn’t have a girlfriend I probably would have stalked this female. So that made me a little happy. I quickly stopped to think, “Oh, my goodness! What if that chick was in high school?” Usually I won’t pass judgment on a female that isn’t 18 yet because it’s illegal and weird. Even if I’m only 22 years old, a few years will get you 20. Quickly I realized that it was almost nine in the morning and high school starts earlier than that so I was relieved and free to enjoy my day.

With a fresh and pleasant attitude my day was going well, that is until my matrix algebra class. I walked into class to see a little blonde kid sitting in the chair that my professor uses. I thought that it was weird but I shrugged it off and went to my seat. My professor came out of a corner and started class. Before actually lecturing she introduced her son that had been with her all day because Fayette county public schools had the day off for an academic holiday. Immediately I thought back to the gorgeous runner I had seen earlier while waiting for the bus. I felt disgusted. I could have been judging someone’s daughter who hadn’t even gotten her license yet (I don’t want to hear it…I’ll get my license soon, anyway.)

FIGURE 42.1: The future of middle school girls in America…

This has been an epidemic in the past decade. Something needs to be done about the amount of hormones floating around in everything from bread to tap water. This isn’t a problem for the women being affected that are at or around my age (legal), but for the younger girls. One of my best friends is about 8 years older than me. When we used to hang out way back in the day, he’d always complain about how little girls (females around my age) were dressing too grown up and having adult bodies they didn’t need. I didn’t listen to him complain because he is one of those people that complains about everything. I now realize that he was right.

What kind of world do we live in when grown men can’t ogle and objectify females as sexual beings while they are getting exercise to live up to (mostly) unrealistic expectations of beauty developed by rich old white guys in Hollywood? I’m pissed. If I want to look at a runner, I should be able to look at a runner without feeling like some creepy old man. The key to correcting this problem (besides me ‘respecting women’ and not looking) is to have all females under the age of 18 wear a bright neon colored vest at all times. If the female doesn’t wear the vest then her parents are fined by the government. With these brightly colored neon vests guys at parties will know which females they should avoid. Clubs and adult businesses would know which girls weren’t allowed into their establishments to get felt up by Akon. Life would be much better. In closing…I’m officially a dirty old man…probably.

FIGURE 42.2: I don’t feel as dirty as this douchebag though…

Gabriel on Religion

Religion is a powerful word. In its name millions if not billions of lives have been lost, millions of people have been oppressed, and lives are still being lost and oppressed all in the name of some deity. It should be no secret that I am a Christian. (Non denominational…I might choose something one day but for right now non denominational serves my life purpose just fine). What I want to say is that out of the big five (Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism), not one main deity or supernatural head honcho would want blood to be spilled or people disenfranchised in their name. The topic today pops up from reading other blogs and a lecture in my African American studies class.

Historically there are several groups that are oppressed today that are only oppressed because of the religious hegemony of the past (my post will focus on Christianity just because, that is what I know the most about.) Blacks, Native American, Jews, Gays, Women, (not little people…) are all examples of this. Because of the oppression there are many people that feel very strongly against religion and are for a secular society. Logically speaking, these groups have a right to be angry. The curse of Ham is complete garbage (in its justification for slaves), the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is trash (in its interpretation of bashing gay people), and the fact that Eve just so happened to take a bite of the apple and tempt Adam (with her tig ole bitties…yes I had to be goofy) shouldn’t be Eve’s fault because Adam was a grown man…no one forced him to eat the apple.

Some people might ask “Gabriel…as an angry and learned Black man, how can you be Christian knowing what the history of it has done to your people?” My response is the following: For thousands of years people have been treating others like junk. Enslavement, rape, murder, the whole 9 yards. However, if you look at the main tenants of Christianity (both old and new testament) it can be summed up to loving G-D, loving each other and loving yourself. The reason people have been treated so badly in the name of G-D or Jesus is because the written word is faulty (in my humble opinion). It was sent to this plane of existence and corrupted by man by default of being in our universe. The message was written and interoperated by man. The message was then translated and mass produced by man. There are numerous ways for the true word of the LORD to be corrupted and altered to fit what man desires for himself. I like to think of this little analogy when considering any religion (with a divine nature…not scientology or pastafarianism). Clean clothes are only clean until you take them out of the dryer…deep, not really, but it gets the point across.

The closing I leave you all with this picture to analyze and describe and blah blah blah other deep things that really won’t help you in life.

FIGURE 41.1: “It’s okay White guy…Jesus won’t let those rag head coloreds hurt you.”