Gabriel on Surprises

Certain things in life are surprises. When you think you did awful on an exam and you dominated it, that’s a surprise. When you think you did amazing on an exam and then found out you did horrible, that’s a surprise. When a smoking hot attractive person brings you fried chicken for no reason at all, that’s a surprise. Other things aren’t surprises. When a stupid White girl from the south with rich parents says that she is voting for John McCain, that isn’t a surprise. When you find out that your male cousin that likes wearing pink and watching sex and the city comes out of the closet, that isn’t a surprise.

The topic of surprises comes about because of the annual act of racist/racialized douchebaggery that takes place on UK’s campus. Last year on UK’s campus there was a cartoon in the school newspaper that was deemed racist. While the cartoon wasn’t especially racist (I thought it was actually quite funny because they used British jargon and drew some guy with a house robe, but anyway) the history of race relations in Lexington (specifically UK’s campus) wasn’t the best basis for the cartoon to even be put in the paper in the first place. About a week later (maybe in the same week) an acquaintance of mine had “Die Nigger” written on his dorm door (he’s Black btw.) That was racist. My point is that whenever some racist crap happens on UK’s campus, for most people it shouldn’t be a surprise. Only freshmen have the “innocence” to be surprised by random acts of racism that are plentiful in the land of the wildcat (even though all these older White students/people are shocked that it happened and only know about it because it is concerning that guy that is so well spoken.)

Less than a week from the election, this morning (right by my place of work), there was an Obama effigy found hanging in a noose from a tree. It should be no surprise that this occurred. In fact, I’m surprised that it didn’t occur sooner.

Many people speculate as to what will happen if (when) Obama wins the presidency. Lots of people secretly think that every Black person will run into the streets simultaneously and start doing the soulja boy and c-walking. While I doubt (hope to the one true G-D) that Black people don’t negate the win with random acts of ghettoness and red kool-aid drinking (at least not in public). It should not be a surprise of the abundance of smiling faces of the Negroid persuasion. However, no one really thinks about how random (racist/ultra-right) White people will act. But…people still speculate. I’ll give you all some insight into what I think will happen so that you all won’t be surprised.

FIGURE 49.1: Obama might be shot at, but not by this guy though…

FIGURE 49.2: White soccer mom demand for prescription pills will exponentially increase because of…

FIGURE 49.3: These types of couples popping up all over the place because of progressive White females wanting little Baracks of their own.

Happy voting…I’m going to sleep.

Gabriel on Colin Powell

Contrary to popular belief I am NOT an ultra liberal militant. I am a quasi conservative militant. My “liberal” views stem from aspects of my life that have molded me into caring about certain situations I and some people that look like me are placed into just because of the color of my skin. Frankly it’s kind of complicated what my political views are, and if you want you can do some perusing through my blog to find one of my older posts on politics. With that being said, it is extremely difficult (to some I guess) to navigate this nation while being both Black and politically conservative. Several people that are both Black and conservative constantly have to deal with questions from random EBP and PWP about George Bush being the anti-Christ, blah blah blah. While I don’t particularly care too much for King George the Second, I do find it annoying when my ascribed loyalty to my own race comes into question from people who are ignorant of me being grown and making my own decisions. And I’m not even in politics…yet (and probably won’t be because the way people would hate me would endanger the lives of my loved ones.) So when I look to powerful Black conservative leaders (in politics) I feel more respect for them just because of the constant barrage of nonsense and douchebaggery flung their way just because they happen to be grown and make a decision on how a country should be run given their personal circumstances and experiences.

For years Black folk (and possibly White folk behind closed doors) have blasted Colin Powell for being in President Bush’s cabinet. He has been called a sellout, a house nigger, high yellow <insert insult here>, etc. All the while, he was just working with what he has gone through and how he views the world. It’s not like he is running around the country preaching about how affirmative action is reverse racism (like some douchebags I don’t really respect and how I used to think before I read a book or two.) He isn’t founding television networks and making billion dollar contracts with the satanic entity known as Viacom. All he did was put food on his family’s table and try to make the country a better place in the process. So while he was taking heat from the people that should have been supportive instead of being a nation of hypocritical haters he was being praised by conservatives Whites as being a true American, transcending race, and being so well spoken (anyway…)

A few years later…

Enter democratic candidate Barack Obama. A man with great vision (2/3 of the time to me).He is also Black and being praised by PWP as being a true representative of a “diverse” America (yeah right), transcending race and being so well spoken. His running mate is a crazy old man who speaks in the third person and is utterly hilarious. Obama’s opponents are John McCain, an older gentleman, a war hero of great experience and a moderately intelligent woman lacking experience in everything (for the most part) that matters to be a vice presidential candidate. So, like the good American he is, Colin Powell chose to back the team that is best for America. He chose to back the Obama-Bidden ticket. Mainly because he didn’t want his buddy Johnny Mac to die leaving the door open for Tina Fey becoming president of the United States.

FIGURE 48.1: And you all thought I made a mistake when I typed Tina Fey…

Because of the endorsement America shows its douchebag, flip-floppy status as many opinions about Colin Powell have changed. To Black people (at least the ones I’ve heard from) he is seen as ‘finally’ sticking up for his race, and being loyal, and blah blah blah all that other pan-Black crap that people are forced to endure or else risk being labeled a sellout. But even though the change from the Black perspective has changed, it was nowhere near the level of the change from the conservative White perspective. He went from being their iconic tokenized Black man to a sheer sellout. He hates America and is in league with terrorists and will bring about the second coming of Sodom and Gomorrah with babies being aborted and their Christian mothers being crucified in the streets by packs of wandering newly married gay people. Oh yeah…apparently he’s a nigger now.

FIGURE 48.2: The only Black person conservative White people hate more for ‘betraying’ the White race.

In my book Colin Powell was, is, and will always be a hero.

Gabriel on White Privilege

A few weeks ago at a general body meeting for one of the organizations in which I am involved, we were discussing the topic of White privilege. In usual fashion things weren’t discussed at the level I would have wished for, but I don’t care all that much about people (that aren’t my friends or family) hearing what I have to say…now reading is a whole different level. Most things that were discussed at the meeting were funny, but very superficial aspects of what I believe truly represent White privilege. I won’t go into the comments made at the meeting because I’m not trying to downplay personal experiences with White privilege on or around my school’s campus because if they stay here they will go through the whole nine yards of racist douchebaggery.

Examples of what I have gone through on this campus and through-out Lexington thus far:

Being called a nigger (4 or 5 distinct occasions)
Being pulled over by the cops and getting handcuffed while my friend (who is White) was not handcuffed because they thought I was dealing drugs to him as cops usually “deduce” from a White guy and a Black guy riding together in a car.
Having to explain (my perspective of) the entire Black struggle in the history of civilizations to a sundry of White females I have been ‘romantically’ linked to (which takes all the fun out of interracial dating)
Dealing with people from random small towns that have a general hatred for gay people, “terrorists”(anyone they can’t label as Black, White, Asian or Hispanic), and Mexicans (anyone Hispanic), but surprisingly don’t mind Black people (yeah right)
The list goes on…

FIGURE 47.1: Hates young Black males…but his daughter doesn’t. HUZZAH!

Basically what I see as White privilege is a literal meaning. People are more privileged if they can pass (be seen as White by others) than if they can’t (seen as a person of color.) Being White in American society (possibly European society as well because they’re douchebags too) means that you know that people that look like you run society. If something goes wrong in your life then (barring unique circumstances like being from Appalachia or something) you can take solace in the fact that you’re White and just integrate yourself into a high social or economic class by befriending (or marrying) another White person better off than you. You have the benefit of living in a world superpower where the default rules of the society were set up by people in similar social locations to benefit people like you. This is not by any means to say that all White people actively participate in the privilege, because they don’t. However all White people do all participate. Simply put, American society is easier for those (of all colors) who have lighter/fairer skin.

 

Examples of my definition can be seen in the presidential race. With John McCain you have someone who wanted to be ballin’ so he ditched his paraplegic wife for a rich, younger (I think) woman. I’m not judging him. To each their own…but he can pull that sort of stuff because he is a White male. Barack Obama satisfies by theory about lighter/fairer people having it easier in American society. If one looks back to most of the Black people who were in positions of power or prestige earlier on in the development of the country, they were almost exclusively light skinned or biracial. One can go look up the founders of almost all the BGLO (Black Greeks) and see the distinct lack of melanin present in their negroid bodies. It should come as no surprise to anyone (Black) who is socially aware that a mixed person has stood the best chance of being the first Black president. For those of you who talk about Colin Powell…he’s mixed too.

FIGURE 47.2: GET YOUR STROLL ON! ONLY AVAILABLE IN LIGHT SKINNED!

But yeah…that’s how I see White Privilege. It’s out there…just like Mulder’s sister…what a terrible show.