Gabriel on Sports

I love sports. I like to play them, I love to watch them. I like discussing them, arguing about stats, watching shows that debate topics concerning sports. They are amazing. This is what I wish I could say without looking deeper into the picture. Sports are great, but they only do so much. While I do enjoy watching a good basketball game (college or pro), or a good football game (most likely pro), I do see a vast disconnect in how people view sports and how sports should be viewed. And now, for the moment you’ve been waiting for, I will give my outlook on sports.

First and foremost is a problem plaguing youth in this country. Disadvantaged and advantaged youth both look towards sport as a mean of escaping/avoiding poverty, increasing social status and social mobilization into “the good life”. Instead of picking up a book, or reading further ahead in their math and science classes, they are outside playing in little leagues that are run and organized by their unathletic parents who are trying to vicariously live through their children (that is when those kids aren’t getting fat from junk food and Nintendo Wii…that’s right, Wiis are still videogames, fat kids can still eat and play the Wii. The Wii takes less effort than beating off…anyway.) These young children learn that athletics are vital to their survival and place too much emphasis on them. Yes, it’s important that kids don’t get fat and they exercise, but really, exercise takes like one hour a day, which is plenty if you don’t let kids eat whatever they want. Athletics should not compose more time than your child’s schooling. If it does, then something is wrong. If kids keep getting these messages, then they’ll end up working at a car dealership struggling to get by on commission because they were the star quarterback of their crappy high school football team (that went 0-11 every year) but couldn’t form a proper sentence or do simple algebra.

Last time I talked about how A-Rod got busted juicing. I won’t talk about it again, because he’s rich, and will probably make more money with his current contract than I will make in my lifetime…which pisses me off. But steroid use is very prevalent, and many people point to race as the reason. Lots of people have noticed the rise in performance enhancing drugs came when color lines were being smashed in different fields of sports. No, Mr. Criminalblkman didn’t show up in the locker room with a jar of Adrenosterone in one arm and a White woman on the other. People (Black and White) say that the influx of Black and ethnic players into sports leagues increased the bar for levels of athleticism. That’s right! Ty’L'Ron Jenkins used his negro legs, ran and jumped straight from the projects of NY into Miami, FL to play for the Dolphins. Apparently, since Black people were so gifted genetically, the only way that White players could keep up with the super Negro (descended from the greatest, biggest buck on the plantation) were to become super themselves. They obviously couldn’t afford to go through three generations of killing off the smartest and brightest white people while breeding the biggest, fastest, strongest white people and training their children in the fields for 150 years, so they turned to steroids. Well, if you believe that, my poor, Liberian-American behind has ocean front property in Colorado to sell you.

FIGURE 60.1: Proof that White people don’t have to juice…

For one, I hate it when people use the argument that Black people are naturally more athletic than White people. I hate it even more when Black people use the argument. People think that it is a compliment, but they’re dumb. If people take it as a fact that Black people are genetically predisposed to excel in sports, then people can say they White people are genetically predisposed to excel in the classroom. It leaves the entire realm of racist, eugenic thought to creep from under its bed sheet to bite us in the butt. The reason that Black people excel in sports is ENTIRELY social. If you go look at countries across the world that farm into our NBA teams, they are poor or war torn countries for the most part (similar to most of our urban/inner-city neighborhoods.) If people grow up in an environment that doesn’t have access to the best schools, books and other academic resources, then they’re going to spend their time trying to attain something that they know about, and try to achieve goals that they feasibly have the resources to obtain. Let’s see…read a book that has Ronald Reagan as the last president (when you know it’s Obama), or go learn to dunk in hopes to get broads, a fancy car, and some money for your family? Tough choice…

For two, White people don’t need to juice just to stay competitive with athletes of other races. It’s just another way to blame Black people for White insecurity. Can you imagine what would happen if Andy Petite was like “I only did HGH so that I could pitch against Black people!” He’d look rucking fidiculous…

FIGURE 60.2: Didn’t do steroids to keep up with Cochran…

Gabriel on Surprises

Certain things in life are surprises. When you think you did awful on an exam and you dominated it, that’s a surprise. When you think you did amazing on an exam and then found out you did horrible, that’s a surprise. When a smoking hot attractive person brings you fried chicken for no reason at all, that’s a surprise. Other things aren’t surprises. When a stupid White girl from the south with rich parents says that she is voting for John McCain, that isn’t a surprise. When you find out that your male cousin that likes wearing pink and watching sex and the city comes out of the closet, that isn’t a surprise.

The topic of surprises comes about because of the annual act of racist/racialized douchebaggery that takes place on UK’s campus. Last year on UK’s campus there was a cartoon in the school newspaper that was deemed racist. While the cartoon wasn’t especially racist (I thought it was actually quite funny because they used British jargon and drew some guy with a house robe, but anyway) the history of race relations in Lexington (specifically UK’s campus) wasn’t the best basis for the cartoon to even be put in the paper in the first place. About a week later (maybe in the same week) an acquaintance of mine had “Die Nigger” written on his dorm door (he’s Black btw.) That was racist. My point is that whenever some racist crap happens on UK’s campus, for most people it shouldn’t be a surprise. Only freshmen have the “innocence” to be surprised by random acts of racism that are plentiful in the land of the wildcat (even though all these older White students/people are shocked that it happened and only know about it because it is concerning that guy that is so well spoken.)

Less than a week from the election, this morning (right by my place of work), there was an Obama effigy found hanging in a noose from a tree. It should be no surprise that this occurred. In fact, I’m surprised that it didn’t occur sooner.

Many people speculate as to what will happen if (when) Obama wins the presidency. Lots of people secretly think that every Black person will run into the streets simultaneously and start doing the soulja boy and c-walking. While I doubt (hope to the one true G-D) that Black people don’t negate the win with random acts of ghettoness and red kool-aid drinking (at least not in public). It should not be a surprise of the abundance of smiling faces of the Negroid persuasion. However, no one really thinks about how random (racist/ultra-right) White people will act. But…people still speculate. I’ll give you all some insight into what I think will happen so that you all won’t be surprised.

FIGURE 49.1: Obama might be shot at, but not by this guy though…

FIGURE 49.2: White soccer mom demand for prescription pills will exponentially increase because of…

FIGURE 49.3: These types of couples popping up all over the place because of progressive White females wanting little Baracks of their own.

Happy voting…I’m going to sleep.

Gabriel on Degrees

Anyone of any color, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation can benefit from college if they choose to do so. But they should save their (or their parents) time and money if they end up graduating with a degree that is useless. Contrary to popular romanticized belief college is about earning a sheet of paper that says ‘hire me because I have <fill in the blank> skills/abilities’ in the goal that every American secretly desires (whether they know it or not) which is to make money. Earning degrees in things that won’t make you money, or piggyback you into a graduate/professional school that will make you money are useless. People might know these degrees when they hear them because as soon as the degree is pictured one has a difficult time trying to place an occupation/career to said degree. Well my friends (borrowed from the maverick), Gabriel is here to school you on which degrees you should be wary of before choosing them. This won’t be an exhaustive list, but just things that I have the most experience in seeing in my friends, acquaintances, enemies, etc.

ENGLISH: Why on earth would anyone want a degree in this? Think about it, would you be impressed if someone got a degree in Spanish if they were from Mexico? Odds are, you’d just look at them and question why they didn’t spend their time getting a degree that mattered. It is the same way with English degrees. I might have a personal gripe against English because every English class I have taken in college I earned a C. English is stupid, if you were born in America you should know it. The only people I am impressed with that have degrees in English are people that are from other countries. Only in America.

COMMUNICATIONS (excluding telecom which is respectable in my book): The school I attend has one of the best communications departments in the country (or so I was told.) Given this, I give them respect in the level of difficulty of communications. That is until I hear about or see one of the many athletes on television (or from my personal experiences) that major in communications. The problem isn’t that they major in communications. The problem is that communications is one of the go to majors for athletes. Most athletes are placed (or choose, however it works) into majors that require little or no work so that they can focus on their athletics while still keeping the graduation rate high enough to recruit more athletes. The cycle perpetuates itself and eventually a school can have a top notch program that gets taken over by people only in school because they can run fast or throw a ball. These degrees will be put to good use when said athletes end up working at a car dealership because they are an alumnus of said school.

SOCIOLOGY (Yay me!): This falls under the same umbrella as communications as a go to major/course load for athletes. For non athletes the typical sociology major is someone who was in a more challenging major and either didn’t feel like rising to the challenge, or someone who didn’t know what they wanted to do with their life so they chose something they liked. This is quite possibly the biggest mistake one can make. While sociology is interesting, it isn’t enough to warrant as a major. People that major in sociology are douchebag frat boys, white people with dreadlocks, douchebag athletes, douchebag feminists, or douchebag pseudo black nationalists that claim that pennies are a form of symbolic racism because they are useless and brown. People majoring in sociology end up graduating and working for a crappy non profit for the rest of their lives or living in a van down by the river (because Karl Marx said that money was evil and they believed him.)

FIGURE 46.1: Sociology Major

ETHNIC/MINORITY STUDIES: So many crappy and useless things fall under the umbrella of these majors. African American Studies (and other fancy terms for Black people in society), Gender and Womyn Studies, Islamic Studies, blah blah blah. They all suck. At least with sociology and other social science degrees one can end up working for their choice of non-profits. AAS degrees end up working for taco bell or the NAACP. GWS degrees end up working for the violence and suicide prevention hotlines that make 6.75 an hour plus commission. Islamic Studies degrees get put on a list by the government making travel to other countries very difficult.

FIGURE 46.2: Makes less than I do with her college degree.

ECONOMICS: This major is like the sociology of the business world. All these theories and social principles that apply to money are learned, but really if the people who truly cared about money went to the right degree they would be in accounting or business or marketing…econ pisses me off because the people that major in economics actually feel that they are better than sociology majors. You aren’t you douches… you’re just in a different college.

There are several other majors I didn’t touch upon like Anthropology, Political Science, Environmental Studies (which would need its own separate post for me to rant about the sheer idocracy of tax payer dollars going to waste by offering this in public institutions…) and Geography to name a few, but I’m too tired and I have to do Spanish.

DISCLAIMER: People obtaining degrees to become teachers or going into law school, medical school, graduate school (to obtain PhDs) or anything else similar to these are exempt. The world needs more truly educated people…and a PhD is hard no matter what you get it in. Except gym…I don’t know what the difference between that and a BA in gym would be. Yes the gym degrees do exist. I know someone with a gym degree.