Gabriel on Sports

I love sports. I like to play them, I love to watch them. I like discussing them, arguing about stats, watching shows that debate topics concerning sports. They are amazing. This is what I wish I could say without looking deeper into the picture. Sports are great, but they only do so much. While I do enjoy watching a good basketball game (college or pro), or a good football game (most likely pro), I do see a vast disconnect in how people view sports and how sports should be viewed. And now, for the moment you’ve been waiting for, I will give my outlook on sports.

First and foremost is a problem plaguing youth in this country. Disadvantaged and advantaged youth both look towards sport as a mean of escaping/avoiding poverty, increasing social status and social mobilization into “the good life”. Instead of picking up a book, or reading further ahead in their math and science classes, they are outside playing in little leagues that are run and organized by their unathletic parents who are trying to vicariously live through their children (that is when those kids aren’t getting fat from junk food and Nintendo Wii…that’s right, Wiis are still videogames, fat kids can still eat and play the Wii. The Wii takes less effort than beating off…anyway.) These young children learn that athletics are vital to their survival and place too much emphasis on them. Yes, it’s important that kids don’t get fat and they exercise, but really, exercise takes like one hour a day, which is plenty if you don’t let kids eat whatever they want. Athletics should not compose more time than your child’s schooling. If it does, then something is wrong. If kids keep getting these messages, then they’ll end up working at a car dealership struggling to get by on commission because they were the star quarterback of their crappy high school football team (that went 0-11 every year) but couldn’t form a proper sentence or do simple algebra.

Last time I talked about how A-Rod got busted juicing. I won’t talk about it again, because he’s rich, and will probably make more money with his current contract than I will make in my lifetime…which pisses me off. But steroid use is very prevalent, and many people point to race as the reason. Lots of people have noticed the rise in performance enhancing drugs came when color lines were being smashed in different fields of sports. No, Mr. Criminalblkman didn’t show up in the locker room with a jar of Adrenosterone in one arm and a White woman on the other. People (Black and White) say that the influx of Black and ethnic players into sports leagues increased the bar for levels of athleticism. That’s right! Ty’L'Ron Jenkins used his negro legs, ran and jumped straight from the projects of NY into Miami, FL to play for the Dolphins. Apparently, since Black people were so gifted genetically, the only way that White players could keep up with the super Negro (descended from the greatest, biggest buck on the plantation) were to become super themselves. They obviously couldn’t afford to go through three generations of killing off the smartest and brightest white people while breeding the biggest, fastest, strongest white people and training their children in the fields for 150 years, so they turned to steroids. Well, if you believe that, my poor, Liberian-American behind has ocean front property in Colorado to sell you.

FIGURE 60.1: Proof that White people don’t have to juice…

For one, I hate it when people use the argument that Black people are naturally more athletic than White people. I hate it even more when Black people use the argument. People think that it is a compliment, but they’re dumb. If people take it as a fact that Black people are genetically predisposed to excel in sports, then people can say they White people are genetically predisposed to excel in the classroom. It leaves the entire realm of racist, eugenic thought to creep from under its bed sheet to bite us in the butt. The reason that Black people excel in sports is ENTIRELY social. If you go look at countries across the world that farm into our NBA teams, they are poor or war torn countries for the most part (similar to most of our urban/inner-city neighborhoods.) If people grow up in an environment that doesn’t have access to the best schools, books and other academic resources, then they’re going to spend their time trying to attain something that they know about, and try to achieve goals that they feasibly have the resources to obtain. Let’s see…read a book that has Ronald Reagan as the last president (when you know it’s Obama), or go learn to dunk in hopes to get broads, a fancy car, and some money for your family? Tough choice…

For two, White people don’t need to juice just to stay competitive with athletes of other races. It’s just another way to blame Black people for White insecurity. Can you imagine what would happen if Andy Petite was like “I only did HGH so that I could pitch against Black people!” He’d look rucking fidiculous…

FIGURE 60.2: Didn’t do steroids to keep up with Cochran…

Gabriel on The Outcome

Well we have a new president. Yay. I won’t go into how happy I am or how much joy I feel because well, odds are every other Black and hippie owned blog is doing that or has done that in the past two days. I’m here to talk about the outcome. Or rather what the outcome wasn’t. Because you see, there were, are and will be many haters out of the woodwork that I feel the need to address. So here goes.

1. The world is still here: That’s right my friends. The world still exists. It didn’t blow up. The rapture didn’t happen.
   
2. The world has about a million more crazy religious zealots: Now I’m all for the walk with our LORD and Savior. It’s great. I encourage everyone to at least try. But, I have a problem when religion (mainly Christianity in the US) is perverted and distorted to try and disenfranchise a certain group of people or a certain individual that happens to have won the presidency. There are several blogs that talked about how Barack is evil because he supports abortion, and is friends with Muslim terrorists, and isn’t truly a Christian or an American (which is all jargon for “He’s a nigger! We hate him!”) One religious-political blogger who I will only refer to as Larry Who (oh yeah…that is his blog’s name…anyway) said that G-D told him that McCain was going to win the election. What a pile of poop! Yes G-D talks to people, but not in the prophetic way of the good book. Humanity in my opinion is too corrupt to filter out the noise of the world. But that’s just me being a crazy person. Back on topic, the blogosphere is teeming with douchebaggery such as the religious-political stylings of Larry Who.
   
3. Social Inequality didn’t disappear: Just because we happen to have the first Black president that doesn’t mean crap. Bob Johnson was the first Black billionaire and look how well that turned out. While I’m not saying that Barack is anywhere near as evil as Bob Johnson (or evil at all), I’m saying that we should wait to see the change before everyone gets all excited. I believe that change will come, but it’s not even the 20^th of January yet, Bush is still in office, and that red button is still sitting there tempting him. Also, just because one Black man became president doesn’t mean the minority schools aren’t severely worse off than their White counterparts. Or that the mortality rate for Blacks and Hispanics will decrease. Or that the average level of education attained will skyrocket over night. Also extreme sexism (of which I may have been a part of) has run rampant through-out this entire campaign. From Hilary Clinton to Sarah Palin (MILF) and the hustler produced parody ‘Nailin Paylin’ (of which a Hilary and a Condy imitator are a part.) Proposition 8 passed even though all the douchebag PWPs in Hollywood made Cali sweep John McCain out the door.
   
4. The terrorists didn’t win: Satan didn’t explode out of the ground in Iraq with a giant turban made of the American flag that was on fire and start screaming Arabic words that caused Christian brains to explode. Michelle Obama didn’t strut out onto stage in a foxy brown outfit and her hair in a fro screaming “Black power” as their two daughters came out with bombs strapped to their chests. All the Christian bibles in the world didn’t turn into the Koran. The story of Adam and Eve didn’t turn into the story of Adam and Steve. (thanks Cappy) The great “White”, “Christian”, nation of ‘Murikkka is safe.
   

So yeah. None of the scare tactics used by the GOP held any merit. Go watch this video. Eat. Drink. Be Merry.

Gabriel on Surprises

Certain things in life are surprises. When you think you did awful on an exam and you dominated it, that’s a surprise. When you think you did amazing on an exam and then found out you did horrible, that’s a surprise. When a smoking hot attractive person brings you fried chicken for no reason at all, that’s a surprise. Other things aren’t surprises. When a stupid White girl from the south with rich parents says that she is voting for John McCain, that isn’t a surprise. When you find out that your male cousin that likes wearing pink and watching sex and the city comes out of the closet, that isn’t a surprise.

The topic of surprises comes about because of the annual act of racist/racialized douchebaggery that takes place on UK’s campus. Last year on UK’s campus there was a cartoon in the school newspaper that was deemed racist. While the cartoon wasn’t especially racist (I thought it was actually quite funny because they used British jargon and drew some guy with a house robe, but anyway) the history of race relations in Lexington (specifically UK’s campus) wasn’t the best basis for the cartoon to even be put in the paper in the first place. About a week later (maybe in the same week) an acquaintance of mine had “Die Nigger” written on his dorm door (he’s Black btw.) That was racist. My point is that whenever some racist crap happens on UK’s campus, for most people it shouldn’t be a surprise. Only freshmen have the “innocence” to be surprised by random acts of racism that are plentiful in the land of the wildcat (even though all these older White students/people are shocked that it happened and only know about it because it is concerning that guy that is so well spoken.)

Less than a week from the election, this morning (right by my place of work), there was an Obama effigy found hanging in a noose from a tree. It should be no surprise that this occurred. In fact, I’m surprised that it didn’t occur sooner.

Many people speculate as to what will happen if (when) Obama wins the presidency. Lots of people secretly think that every Black person will run into the streets simultaneously and start doing the soulja boy and c-walking. While I doubt (hope to the one true G-D) that Black people don’t negate the win with random acts of ghettoness and red kool-aid drinking (at least not in public). It should not be a surprise of the abundance of smiling faces of the Negroid persuasion. However, no one really thinks about how random (racist/ultra-right) White people will act. But…people still speculate. I’ll give you all some insight into what I think will happen so that you all won’t be surprised.

FIGURE 49.1: Obama might be shot at, but not by this guy though…

FIGURE 49.2: White soccer mom demand for prescription pills will exponentially increase because of…

FIGURE 49.3: These types of couples popping up all over the place because of progressive White females wanting little Baracks of their own.

Happy voting…I’m going to sleep.