Gabriel on The Outcome

Well we have a new president. Yay. I won’t go into how happy I am or how much joy I feel because well, odds are every other Black and hippie owned blog is doing that or has done that in the past two days. I’m here to talk about the outcome. Or rather what the outcome wasn’t. Because you see, there were, are and will be many haters out of the woodwork that I feel the need to address. So here goes.

1. The world is still here: That’s right my friends. The world still exists. It didn’t blow up. The rapture didn’t happen.
   
2. The world has about a million more crazy religious zealots: Now I’m all for the walk with our LORD and Savior. It’s great. I encourage everyone to at least try. But, I have a problem when religion (mainly Christianity in the US) is perverted and distorted to try and disenfranchise a certain group of people or a certain individual that happens to have won the presidency. There are several blogs that talked about how Barack is evil because he supports abortion, and is friends with Muslim terrorists, and isn’t truly a Christian or an American (which is all jargon for “He’s a nigger! We hate him!”) One religious-political blogger who I will only refer to as Larry Who (oh yeah…that is his blog’s name…anyway) said that G-D told him that McCain was going to win the election. What a pile of poop! Yes G-D talks to people, but not in the prophetic way of the good book. Humanity in my opinion is too corrupt to filter out the noise of the world. But that’s just me being a crazy person. Back on topic, the blogosphere is teeming with douchebaggery such as the religious-political stylings of Larry Who.
   
3. Social Inequality didn’t disappear: Just because we happen to have the first Black president that doesn’t mean crap. Bob Johnson was the first Black billionaire and look how well that turned out. While I’m not saying that Barack is anywhere near as evil as Bob Johnson (or evil at all), I’m saying that we should wait to see the change before everyone gets all excited. I believe that change will come, but it’s not even the 20^th of January yet, Bush is still in office, and that red button is still sitting there tempting him. Also, just because one Black man became president doesn’t mean the minority schools aren’t severely worse off than their White counterparts. Or that the mortality rate for Blacks and Hispanics will decrease. Or that the average level of education attained will skyrocket over night. Also extreme sexism (of which I may have been a part of) has run rampant through-out this entire campaign. From Hilary Clinton to Sarah Palin (MILF) and the hustler produced parody ‘Nailin Paylin’ (of which a Hilary and a Condy imitator are a part.) Proposition 8 passed even though all the douchebag PWPs in Hollywood made Cali sweep John McCain out the door.
   
4. The terrorists didn’t win: Satan didn’t explode out of the ground in Iraq with a giant turban made of the American flag that was on fire and start screaming Arabic words that caused Christian brains to explode. Michelle Obama didn’t strut out onto stage in a foxy brown outfit and her hair in a fro screaming “Black power” as their two daughters came out with bombs strapped to their chests. All the Christian bibles in the world didn’t turn into the Koran. The story of Adam and Eve didn’t turn into the story of Adam and Steve. (thanks Cappy) The great “White”, “Christian”, nation of ‘Murikkka is safe.
   

So yeah. None of the scare tactics used by the GOP held any merit. Go watch this video. Eat. Drink. Be Merry.

Gabriel on Surprises

Certain things in life are surprises. When you think you did awful on an exam and you dominated it, that’s a surprise. When you think you did amazing on an exam and then found out you did horrible, that’s a surprise. When a smoking hot attractive person brings you fried chicken for no reason at all, that’s a surprise. Other things aren’t surprises. When a stupid White girl from the south with rich parents says that she is voting for John McCain, that isn’t a surprise. When you find out that your male cousin that likes wearing pink and watching sex and the city comes out of the closet, that isn’t a surprise.

The topic of surprises comes about because of the annual act of racist/racialized douchebaggery that takes place on UK’s campus. Last year on UK’s campus there was a cartoon in the school newspaper that was deemed racist. While the cartoon wasn’t especially racist (I thought it was actually quite funny because they used British jargon and drew some guy with a house robe, but anyway) the history of race relations in Lexington (specifically UK’s campus) wasn’t the best basis for the cartoon to even be put in the paper in the first place. About a week later (maybe in the same week) an acquaintance of mine had “Die Nigger” written on his dorm door (he’s Black btw.) That was racist. My point is that whenever some racist crap happens on UK’s campus, for most people it shouldn’t be a surprise. Only freshmen have the “innocence” to be surprised by random acts of racism that are plentiful in the land of the wildcat (even though all these older White students/people are shocked that it happened and only know about it because it is concerning that guy that is so well spoken.)

Less than a week from the election, this morning (right by my place of work), there was an Obama effigy found hanging in a noose from a tree. It should be no surprise that this occurred. In fact, I’m surprised that it didn’t occur sooner.

Many people speculate as to what will happen if (when) Obama wins the presidency. Lots of people secretly think that every Black person will run into the streets simultaneously and start doing the soulja boy and c-walking. While I doubt (hope to the one true G-D) that Black people don’t negate the win with random acts of ghettoness and red kool-aid drinking (at least not in public). It should not be a surprise of the abundance of smiling faces of the Negroid persuasion. However, no one really thinks about how random (racist/ultra-right) White people will act. But…people still speculate. I’ll give you all some insight into what I think will happen so that you all won’t be surprised.

FIGURE 49.1: Obama might be shot at, but not by this guy though…

FIGURE 49.2: White soccer mom demand for prescription pills will exponentially increase because of…

FIGURE 49.3: These types of couples popping up all over the place because of progressive White females wanting little Baracks of their own.

Happy voting…I’m going to sleep.

Gabriel on Degrees

Anyone of any color, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation can benefit from college if they choose to do so. But they should save their (or their parents) time and money if they end up graduating with a degree that is useless. Contrary to popular romanticized belief college is about earning a sheet of paper that says ‘hire me because I have <fill in the blank> skills/abilities’ in the goal that every American secretly desires (whether they know it or not) which is to make money. Earning degrees in things that won’t make you money, or piggyback you into a graduate/professional school that will make you money are useless. People might know these degrees when they hear them because as soon as the degree is pictured one has a difficult time trying to place an occupation/career to said degree. Well my friends (borrowed from the maverick), Gabriel is here to school you on which degrees you should be wary of before choosing them. This won’t be an exhaustive list, but just things that I have the most experience in seeing in my friends, acquaintances, enemies, etc.

ENGLISH: Why on earth would anyone want a degree in this? Think about it, would you be impressed if someone got a degree in Spanish if they were from Mexico? Odds are, you’d just look at them and question why they didn’t spend their time getting a degree that mattered. It is the same way with English degrees. I might have a personal gripe against English because every English class I have taken in college I earned a C. English is stupid, if you were born in America you should know it. The only people I am impressed with that have degrees in English are people that are from other countries. Only in America.

COMMUNICATIONS (excluding telecom which is respectable in my book): The school I attend has one of the best communications departments in the country (or so I was told.) Given this, I give them respect in the level of difficulty of communications. That is until I hear about or see one of the many athletes on television (or from my personal experiences) that major in communications. The problem isn’t that they major in communications. The problem is that communications is one of the go to majors for athletes. Most athletes are placed (or choose, however it works) into majors that require little or no work so that they can focus on their athletics while still keeping the graduation rate high enough to recruit more athletes. The cycle perpetuates itself and eventually a school can have a top notch program that gets taken over by people only in school because they can run fast or throw a ball. These degrees will be put to good use when said athletes end up working at a car dealership because they are an alumnus of said school.

SOCIOLOGY (Yay me!): This falls under the same umbrella as communications as a go to major/course load for athletes. For non athletes the typical sociology major is someone who was in a more challenging major and either didn’t feel like rising to the challenge, or someone who didn’t know what they wanted to do with their life so they chose something they liked. This is quite possibly the biggest mistake one can make. While sociology is interesting, it isn’t enough to warrant as a major. People that major in sociology are douchebag frat boys, white people with dreadlocks, douchebag athletes, douchebag feminists, or douchebag pseudo black nationalists that claim that pennies are a form of symbolic racism because they are useless and brown. People majoring in sociology end up graduating and working for a crappy non profit for the rest of their lives or living in a van down by the river (because Karl Marx said that money was evil and they believed him.)

FIGURE 46.1: Sociology Major

ETHNIC/MINORITY STUDIES: So many crappy and useless things fall under the umbrella of these majors. African American Studies (and other fancy terms for Black people in society), Gender and Womyn Studies, Islamic Studies, blah blah blah. They all suck. At least with sociology and other social science degrees one can end up working for their choice of non-profits. AAS degrees end up working for taco bell or the NAACP. GWS degrees end up working for the violence and suicide prevention hotlines that make 6.75 an hour plus commission. Islamic Studies degrees get put on a list by the government making travel to other countries very difficult.

FIGURE 46.2: Makes less than I do with her college degree.

ECONOMICS: This major is like the sociology of the business world. All these theories and social principles that apply to money are learned, but really if the people who truly cared about money went to the right degree they would be in accounting or business or marketing…econ pisses me off because the people that major in economics actually feel that they are better than sociology majors. You aren’t you douches… you’re just in a different college.

There are several other majors I didn’t touch upon like Anthropology, Political Science, Environmental Studies (which would need its own separate post for me to rant about the sheer idocracy of tax payer dollars going to waste by offering this in public institutions…) and Geography to name a few, but I’m too tired and I have to do Spanish.

DISCLAIMER: People obtaining degrees to become teachers or going into law school, medical school, graduate school (to obtain PhDs) or anything else similar to these are exempt. The world needs more truly educated people…and a PhD is hard no matter what you get it in. Except gym…I don’t know what the difference between that and a BA in gym would be. Yes the gym degrees do exist. I know someone with a gym degree.