Anyone of any color, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation can benefit from college if they choose to do so. But they should save their (or their parents) time and money if they end up graduating with a degree that is useless. Contrary to popular romanticized belief college is about earning a sheet of paper that says ‘hire me because I have <fill in the blank> skills/abilities’ in the goal that every American secretly desires (whether they know it or not) which is to make money. Earning degrees in things that won’t make you money, or piggyback you into a graduate/professional school that will make you money are useless. People might know these degrees when they hear them because as soon as the degree is pictured one has a difficult time trying to place an occupation/career to said degree. Well my friends (borrowed from the maverick), Gabriel is here to school you on which degrees you should be wary of before choosing them. This won’t be an exhaustive list, but just things that I have the most experience in seeing in my friends, acquaintances, enemies, etc.
ENGLISH: Why on earth would anyone want a degree in this? Think about it, would you be impressed if someone got a degree in Spanish if they were from Mexico? Odds are, you’d just look at them and question why they didn’t spend their time getting a degree that mattered. It is the same way with English degrees. I might have a personal gripe against English because every English class I have taken in college I earned a C. English is stupid, if you were born in America you should know it. The only people I am impressed with that have degrees in English are people that are from other countries. Only in America.
COMMUNICATIONS (excluding telecom which is respectable in my book): The school I attend has one of the best communications departments in the country (or so I was told.) Given this, I give them respect in the level of difficulty of communications. That is until I hear about or see one of the many athletes on television (or from my personal experiences) that major in communications. The problem isn’t that they major in communications. The problem is that communications is one of the go to majors for athletes. Most athletes are placed (or choose, however it works) into majors that require little or no work so that they can focus on their athletics while still keeping the graduation rate high enough to recruit more athletes. The cycle perpetuates itself and eventually a school can have a top notch program that gets taken over by people only in school because they can run fast or throw a ball. These degrees will be put to good use when said athletes end up working at a car dealership because they are an alumnus of said school.
SOCIOLOGY (Yay me!): This falls under the same umbrella as communications as a go to major/course load for athletes. For non athletes the typical sociology major is someone who was in a more challenging major and either didn’t feel like rising to the challenge, or someone who didn’t know what they wanted to do with their life so they chose something they liked. This is quite possibly the biggest mistake one can make. While sociology is interesting, it isn’t enough to warrant as a major. People that major in sociology are douchebag frat boys, white people with dreadlocks, douchebag athletes, douchebag feminists, or douchebag pseudo black nationalists that claim that pennies are a form of symbolic racism because they are useless and brown. People majoring in sociology end up graduating and working for a crappy non profit for the rest of their lives or living in a van down by the river (because Karl Marx said that money was evil and they believed him.)
FIGURE 46.1: Sociology Major
ETHNIC/MINORITY STUDIES: So many crappy and useless things fall under the umbrella of these majors. African American Studies (and other fancy terms for Black people in society), Gender and Womyn Studies, Islamic Studies, blah blah blah. They all suck. At least with sociology and other social science degrees one can end up working for their choice of non-profits. AAS degrees end up working for taco bell or the NAACP. GWS degrees end up working for the violence and suicide prevention hotlines that make 6.75 an hour plus commission. Islamic Studies degrees get put on a list by the government making travel to other countries very difficult.
FIGURE 46.2: Makes less than I do with her college degree.
ECONOMICS: This major is like the sociology of the business world. All these theories and social principles that apply to money are learned, but really if the people who truly cared about money went to the right degree they would be in accounting or business or marketing…econ pisses me off because the people that major in economics actually feel that they are better than sociology majors. You aren’t you douches… you’re just in a different college.
There are several other majors I didn’t touch upon like Anthropology, Political Science, Environmental Studies (which would need its own separate post for me to rant about the sheer idocracy of tax payer dollars going to waste by offering this in public institutions…) and Geography to name a few, but I’m too tired and I have to do Spanish.
DISCLAIMER: People obtaining degrees to become teachers or going into law school, medical school, graduate school (to obtain PhDs) or anything else similar to these are exempt. The world needs more truly educated people…and a PhD is hard no matter what you get it in. Except gym…I don’t know what the difference between that and a BA in gym would be. Yes the gym degrees do exist. I know someone with a gym degree.
